Maybe I'm just afraid. 

I'm afraid of something. I don't know what..

maybe rejection.. 

or maybe I'm just a lousy person.

Why I hide.. cause I never belong in the first place.

I'm never totally comfortable.

heavyhearted. 

Sometimes I feel like there's no one I can feel at ease around with.

I think that's what hinders relationships and make me..an outcast.

Am I an outcast?

Some might say I look happy and am surrounded by friends..

Friends..?No.. Acquaintances.. 

I put myself out there.. 

Maybe that's why I love being in a group, I get to pretend for the moment I belong.

But when the lights go out.. I have no one. 

I think people might be super offended if they read this lol

but I think if they sit to analyse the situation it is true.

Often times I think to myself there's something wrong with me..

Or maybe I would start over in a another place, another school, a another city, another state.. but nothing will change. 

Cause I've start over many times and it always end up the same.

Don't pity me please!.

I think maybe I'm just a arkward person.

Maybe I'm a boring person.

Maybe I'm shady and am secretive.

Or I'm just a loner. lol

Iunno. Emotion overload lol.

I swear I am not emo tho haha. 

I am happy&love life but maybe I just love the things in it, not so much the people.

I probably connect more with animals. 

Gosh I'm weird lol

I just needed to vent haha since something happened today.

When I say I love you.

So much more then love..